To have and to (strangle)hold
Many women are carrying invisible scars from abused that is perpetrated against them in intimate relationships. In the African context, women are mostly seen to be inadequate if they don’t have a man by their side. Although everyone joins the chorus to condemn gender-based violence, behind the scenes, particularly in families and churches, most of the same people are also encouraging women to stay put in abusive marriages, ‘because every woman must have a man – that’s how nature and God intend it to be’.